Walk it Out
I’m no doctor but I do believe that we all have different levels of pain tolerance. A friend of mine had a stroke last year and she told me, “I knew something was off, but not what.” She is a tough nut. A few years ago I had a migraine and besides feeling like my head was going to blow off my neck, when I went to get some meds I did not recognize my face in the medicine cabinet mirror, “I’m having a stroke!” was my thinking. My experience with the ER doctor was a bit humiliating as he shook his head at me and passed me a pain pill. “It’s a migraine, go see your doctor.” Maybe it was the same asshat who fussed at my friend, asking her, “Why didn’t you come in earlier?” Dude. She didn’t know. I didn’t know. Neither one of us had experienced those particular circumstances before so what else could we do but go by how we felt? My friend and I were both sick, but that doesn’t mean we had the same experience, correct? We are hearing a lot these days about how we are “all in this together,” related to the 2020 Covid cluster. I agree, we are all going through something that we have never experienced before. We’re all beginners at how to handle it all. But we’re not all in the same boat. Some people are working 16 hour days and are too tired to worry about toilet paper. Others are out of work and feeling the financial stress. Some are taking it like a vacation and sitting by their pools while their personal shopper finds great ingredients for meals at home. Some are used to an at-home based lifestyle but not the limited freedom. Some are working from home with no lost wages and life hasn’t changed all that much. Some are sick and afraid to go to the doctor, or can’t get him on the phone. Some are elderly and at the mercy of those who take care of them. Some live with abusive partners and work was their only time when they could take a deep breath. Simply, we are not all on the same ship in this sea of new realities.
Philosopher and writer Alain de Botton talks about love a lot. He is not a fan of the Romantics as he describes lasting love as a “negotiation of weaknesses.” Humans are fragile creatures, if we didn’t know it before we should now. He also says that “love is a skill, not just an enthusiasm.” Seems a great time to work on those skills, no matter what ship you are in. And if you are bored, feel free to share what your sea looks like right now. Is there something you have learned about yourself during this time? Is there anything that you plan to change about your life when the seas change? Love to hear your stories. Jill