Keys to Transformation
Keys to Transformation Part II
I had no idea that when I set out to update a tired old DVD cabinet that it would spark so many thoughts on transformation.
It started with me taking my own advice, hallelujah, when I decided I WANTED to. Interestingly, it wasn’t until I saw another piece I liked that gave me the idea. So, I’m thinking #1 key in transformation is a combination of listening to the wanting AND having an idea of what the end form could look like.
Key #2 I figured out right quick. I went looking online and at a few other used furniture stores and realized, as a single-homeschooling-Mom especially, I don’t have the time to look or the money to buy. I believe in the past I missed this one a lot. Transformation needs to be worked out of whatever our existing reality IS. No denial allowed.
Remembering key #2, i.e., my time is limited, helped with #3. Get some help girlfriend! This is not a natural tendency for me to say the least. I’m always reinventing new wheels as I spin. But what a godsend it has been to learn this skill! (Yes, asking for help is a skill that has to be intentionally developed. Like many good character qualities, we must work at them.) I LOVE it when I can help someone else from a place where I have some sort of strength. So asking for help, is showing our loved ones TRUST. Trust in their fortes, trust in the fact that they love us.
In my case, HELLO, my mother is a prolific painter, she has a whole set of paintings hanging on my walls and in the library as I write. (It makes me wonder, how many gifts and talents do we all have gathered around us on a daily basis in our tribe that we forget to benefit from? It brings JOY to people to use their gifts, for heaven’s sake! Why do we think we are bothering anyone? We are providing the opportunity for them to live well, right?)
Let’s see, Key #4. On my project, the first panel I did, sucked. So don’t let the suck tries stop you, just change tactics! They all got better as I went.
Key #5: Expect delays. I had to stop this project so many times it took weeks. Unless you are on the job, who has time to work straight through? I had clothes to wash, and dishes to clean and a dog to walk and kids to pay attention too. Keep first things first, as I’ve heard it said. It will extend the time it takes you to change, but won’t create a host of new problems to deal with.
Key #6: Don’t stress over the fuck ups. Strangely, I have been telling my kids this for years! When they couldn’t get a new math concept or spell or pronounce a word correctly, I’m all, “little dude, that’s what learning is!” Geez, why do I think being older means I “should” get stuff right on the first pass? So, now i have the opportunity to learn how the hell to get blue paint, that is now a scrubbed up gray mess, outta light colored carpet. Challenge accepted.
The final key, came to me when I decided that I wouldn’t top coat my piece with shallac or poly or whatever it is that sets paint. Conventional wisdom may say the final key in transformation is to finish the job. But you know what? Nothing is ever finished. Personal growth is a perpetual project. If we try and finish we will just end up stupid and arrogant and forget what we learned in the first place. When it comes to material things, no way does anything last forever so why go there?
Ok, that added two, i have lost count of my “Keys.”
Hear this, I have to work within my unique framework. You have to work within yours. Maybe some people do a project and know they will love it forever so the shallac is a good idea. I am changeable. The art on that pine cabinet is representative of my current mood. In a few years I may see something else that sparks my interest and want to completely change the thing again. Logic dictates that if I hated the color blue once before, I may again one day. Why not leave it in a state where I know I can re-do it again IF I WANT TO.
Caveat, in an effort not to change backwards, if I get desperate and post a list of “So-in-so # of Keys to change your life! Just mail me $19.99 and never struggle with wasted effort again…..!”
Be a friend, and smack me upside the head. I need your help.
And how many times have I changed every room in our home over the 40 some years living here? Change can be really good. Change can bring great joy and a sense of accomplishment – until, like you said, you change your mind and do something else with whatever you changed. It’s so rewarding and fun. So, I won’t fuss if you decide to paint that cabinet pink and black some day! Well, maybe I will since I love what you’ve done to it now!
Think it will last a good bit! Love you, Momsie!
I love your work. The funny thing to me is that you are just ‘discovering’ your talents. You have always showed SO much talent in SO many areas! Furniture is just one. (I am still impressed with the dresser that went over the deck).
I have, and continue to, learn from your struggles, efforts, accomplishments. But, particularly, your compassion and patience. Yes, Jill, I said you have patience. Just look at how far MY nephews have come and you can definitely pat yourself on the back, get a massage and congratulate yourself – and how you listened to God’s direction rather than ‘conventional wisdom’. Love you!
“If I wanted to have a happy garden, I must ally myself with my soil; study and help it to the utmost, untiringly. Always, the soil must come first.”
– Marion Cran, If I Where Beginning Again
I read somewhere about true community and relationship, (and now I can’t find it) that said, “if we are to garden together, we must get in each other’s dirt.” Or something like that. The quote above is prettier!
Thank you so much, my dear sister, but I know nothing of any furniture going off the deck, now or evermore.