Scar Tissue

“Tear off the mask, your face is glorious.”
Rumi

A reader of my blog recently asked me, have you ever tried to write song lyrics? No, that idea had never crossed my mind before. Musicality is not my forte. I also recall a few attempts at poetry in school that did not go well. Then again, until I was encouraged by a friend, I had never considered a blog before either. I would absolutely love to be able to write something that could be put to music.

We decided that Open Wound would be the subject matter. My first step would be to capture the meaning in a poem. I went through some of my writings and
eventually came up with something.

But I’m stuck as of now because I don’t love it. My editors know they are in trouble when I do like something I’ve written. I get so excited to share I don’t give them time for proper editing.  So, the poem is short and the meaning is there. But I’m going back to the drawing board as it is not right and no music would make it so.

While thinking about why I don’t like the poem, this quote by Maya Angelou came across my page.

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside of you.”

I don’t know the particular context of this quote but think she may have been speaking of sexual abuse. I would never want to minimize the agreement I have with her on any trauma of that level that is covered up will magnify the agony if it is not purged by the telling.

I’d add that any unspoken hurt of any kind can cause agony as well. IMO, the words “that hurt” must be shared with someone, to begin the grieving process. Many of us don’t like to do that because the tears will fall and we don’t like to look weak or vulnerable. What if we are accused of being pathetic? Or unforgiving? Or bitter? Or playing a victim? Yeah, all those things may happen. But living in agony? Lord have mercy, help us walk those grieving paths no matter what they look like. So at the end of the path the agony is released. Nothing can change what happened. No one gets out unscathed. We all get hurt.

The words from Maya helped me see that I didn’t like my poem because it came from a place of the intellect instead of the heart.
It is so similar to acknowledging a wound, but not expressing the pain it has caused. Or feeling the pain for a while, on the way to healing. There is probably a quote somewhere about the immense distance between the brain and the heart. We need both.

Because it is a new medium, I am giving myself a pass and will keep trying. One day a poem may pop up on my page and I hope you will feel a smile coming and be reminded, no matter what, keep going.

“Our real journey in life is interior; It is a matter of growth, deepening, and of an ever greater surrender to the creative action of love and grace in our hearts. Never was it more necessary to respond to that action.”

Thomas Merton